Feeling still bad.

The Things are everyday more hard...I think that find Adam didn't was so good, he's not the same... It's so more different that I was think. It's hard to face the truth but... I over with all the choices when I made that damn mistake... It's too late now, and the chances that I have to find myself is... Little, almost nothing. I don't know what to do... I'm afraid. I think about so many possibilities... But anything is more better than Adam. It's the worst part of the story.
I think that I fall in love so easily and I really have stop with this, and sometimes, doesn't matter what happen I always make the wrong choose! It's so sutpid! I'm stupid. I have to learn to like more, but how? I'm terrible! Now my room is attacked for insects, damn insects!

I'm feel so tired... Of everything, Of anything. Of me. And I feel that I can't change, never. It's frustrating! I want to back in time and be the person that I was, before the metal, before David, before treatment, before my life loose the control. I don't have more tears to cry, I don't have anything, I don't wanna be Cassie, Bella, Gabriella or anyone else, I want to be me. Find me. Why is so hard?
I cut my hair, I tried so many things to look at me different of any person,, but nothing. I'm here, with doubts about me. I don't know what I want anymore... For me, For my life, for nothing. I'm completely lost. Tomorrow I have to go at dentist, and soon I'll put the braces, I'm already ugly and this will worst it! But It's ok... Right Now I really don't care. I just want, more peace for my soul... No to die at all, but finally find me.
Who am I? Really. Find the answer is driving me crazy.